No news is {not} good news.

We are still waiting.

Our current status is the EXACT. SAME. as it was last time I posted.

Obviously, we are not going to be approved by Christmas.

.

It's been 62 days since all our paper work was submitted.

But, ya know, who's counting.

And it's hard to feel like we are any further ahead in the process than we were 62 days ago.

Let's be honest: I am not thrilled.

But, strangely enough, I feel calm amongst the storm.

Thank heavens.

And I do every day.

Sincerely.

We heave done ALL that can be done up to this point.

And I have to be content with that.

MIA

**DISCLAIMER: I promise you don't care even slightly about this post. Promise. It's simply for a matter of keeping track of what is what, and where, and when. Not sure on the why. Besides that we are dealing with the Government. Yes. That's why.**

Well, out of the 12 different livescans/fingerprints/background checks that we did back in OCTOBER, LDSFS has received a whopping 7 back.

That's better than nothing, right??

We had to get background checks for every state we have lived in over the past five years (CA, HI, UT). Good ol' California is the only state that pulled through and declared us as non-criminals. Whew. We are still cheering for Utah and Hawaii to get their act together. Come on state of my birth, and state of my heart. Do us well!!

In addition to that pile of papers, we each had to get three sets of fingerprints done for our livescans. All three of Chris' are back (good boy), and only two of mine are back (naughty girl). One of mine is missing. The original five were received within a couple weeks of submission, leaving my single set all on it's own in lonely limbo land. Even though we did all six sets on the same exact day, at the same exact time, at the same exact office, with the same exact technician. One after the next. Awesome.

Confused?? Yes. Me too.

And even though I spent the day on the phone, talking to Joe and Shmoe, alllllll daaaaaayyyyyy looooonnnnnggggg, it's no more clear than before.

Basically, my missing finger prints got to where they need to go. But they didn't get totally pushed through the system. But I can't just pay to resubmit prints (which I was totally willing to do), because they have, in deed, received them. So while they have been received, they are not yet complete. And while they are submitted, they are not yet finalized. And have no idea where they are; therefore, obviously not yet approved.

uh...

So, I filled out yet another form to "finish what you started, like right now, please", and faxed it to them. It could take UP TO 30 DAYS to hear back from them - - - not including furlough, holidays, and weekends. Joy.

Now, we just sit back and twiddle our thumbs, hoping that once the fax is received, Joe Government will say, "Ah ha! This paper work that has been sitting on my desk for two months actually needs to be completed and finalized. Who knew?" and batta bing, batta boom. Approved.

BUT. Just to make things fun. I was made fully aware that their reply, could, in deed say something along the lines of: UH, WE HAVE NO IDEA WHAT TO TELL YOU. PLEASE RESUBMIT ANOTHER FORM TO HAVE US LOOK AGAIN.

And on, and on and on.

Funny, right?

Ya.

Super funny.

So let it be written.

Tonight as I was reading scriptures with the boys before bed, I had a hard time finishing the page we were on: tears were streaming down my cheeks, and the words were only getting more and more blurry as I read.

After I tucked them in, I hurried back to my bed to read over the words, again and again. It was like my heart was exploding.

Thank you. Thank you. were the only words that I could clearly muster up, as thanks to my Heavenly Father for watching over his moody, pouting daughter, that might have had a minor melt down earlier in the day, all in the name of lousy finger-prints.

MORONI 7 37-48

37Behold I say unto you, Nay; for it is by faith that ^amiracles are wrought; and it is by faith that angels appear and minister unto men; wherefore, if these things have ceased wo be unto the children of men, for it is because of ^bunbelief, and all is vain.

38For no man can be saved, according to the words of Christ, save they shall have faith in his name; wherefore, if these things have ceased, then has faith ceased also; and awful is the state of man, for they are as though there had been no redemption made.

39But behold, my beloved brethren, I judge better things of you, for I judge that ye have faith in Christ because of your meekness; for if ye have not faith in him then ye are not ^afit to be numbered among the people of his church.

40And again, my beloved brethren, I would speak unto you concerning ^ahope. How is it that ye can attain unto faith, save ye shall have hope?

41And what is it that ye shall ^ahope for? Behold I say unto you that ye shall have ^bhope through the atonement of Christ and the power of his resurrection, to be raised unto life ^ceternal, and this because of your faith in him according to the promise.

42Wherefore, if a man have ^afaith he ^bmust needs have hope; for without faith there cannot be any hope.

43And again, behold I say unto you that he cannot have faith and hope, save he shall be ^ameek, and lowly of heart.

44If so, his ^afaith and hope is vain, for none is ^bacceptable before God, save the ^cmeek and lowly in heart; and if a man be meek and lowly in heart, and ^dconfesses by the power of the Holy Ghost that Jesus is the Christ, he must needs have charity; for if he have not charity he is nothing; wherefore he must needs have charity.

45And ^acharity suffereth long, and is ^bkind, and ^cenvieth not, and is not puffed up, seeketh not her own, is not easily ^dprovoked, thinketh no evil, and rejoiceth not in iniquity but rejoiceth in the truth, beareth all things, believeth all things, hopeth all things, endureth all things.

46Wherefore, my beloved brethren, if ye have not charity, ye are nothing, for charity never faileth. Wherefore, cleave unto charity, which is the greatest of all, for all things must fail—

47But ^acharity is the pure ^blove of Christ, and it endureth^cforever; and whoso is found possessed of it at the last day, it shall be well with him.

48Wherefore, my beloved brethren, ^apray unto the Father with all the energy of heart, that ye may be filled with this love, which he hath bestowed upon all who are true ^bfollowers of his Son, Jesus Christ; that ye may become the sons of God; that when he shall appear we shall ^cbe like him, for we shall see him as he is; that we may have this hope; that we may be ^dpurified even as he is pure. Amen.

He could have written it across the sky. It wouldn't have been more clear.

Faint of heart

While going though the approval process, Chris and I had to complete 12 hours of "homework" each. I was able to find a lot of great information and learn a lot, actually.

I may or may not be totally addicted to different blogs or websites I have found, dedicated to adoption.

Ah hem.

The point: Again, and again, I would come across the phrase, "adoption is not for the faint of heart!", which I didn't really understand---we were in the start of an exciting adventure, divinely inspired! What could be so hard about it?

Oy.

Today I am feeling that weight, and let's be honest, we have just barely begun.

Oy.

When we started down this road, we had a goal to be approved by the first of December. As we cruised through our paperwork, and everything was lining up perfectly, it seemed like an extremely doable task! When we completed everything last month, I felt a weight lifted off my shoulders: We were not holding our family back; we had done all that we could do! And a huge sigh of relief was taken.

At our home visit (the last of things to do on our checklist) I tried to not fall off my cloud when Christine informed us that our back ground checks had still not come back. Although all the rest of our our information was in, we could not be "approved" until they got the official "go" from Uncle Sam. Ya know, the whole idea that murder is not looked highly upon for potential parents. Ok. Fine. Since the approval committee only meets once a month, we would have to wait until December 1st before we could be approved; hopefully the finger prints would clear by then.

Well, today is December 1st. And our fingerprints are still floating around in space.

I cried.

I know in the grand scheme of things, this will not seem like a big deal. It's only a month. Or two, from the time we submitted our finger prints, to the time we potentially will get approved. Not that big of a deal. But for me? I'm actually really bummed.

The point: This is all just another reminder, that we are not in charge. We are not in charge. We are not in charge.

If I do (and I do) believe that everything to do with our adoption, is going to be divinely inspired, and perfectly orchestrated, then I have to believe that it will be ok. No need to point out the obvious. For the same reason it took two years to get J, I'm sure there is a reason for the delay with getting approved.

AH! So petty, and we haven't really even begun the ball game. Cry me a river. I get it. I know exactly how pathetic I sound. Obviously, it's more of psychological issue.

This whole adoption business is not for the faint of heart.

So I've heard.

So, here's to the holidays, without any sense of direction. As usual.

I'm grumpy. Can you tell?